Adult-ish, now what?

Spent the last couple weeks getting cozy with 2020 and enjoying the rush of a new decade, but now (TODAY) I’m turning 27, and I thought it would be good for me to reflect on what the big 2-6 brought on.

Another year older and another year wiser, I’m going in with a clearer vision of who I am, but with the same set of goals as last year…give or take. I guess that part makes me…uneasy. Have I not changed at all if my goals are the same? It’s been a thought I’ve been trying to drive out of my head. If there’s one thing I fear, it’s staying in the exact same place as the year before, ugh. 26 brought on many lessons, some easier to stomach than others. Don’t get me wrong - there were big strides: getting EMP featured on the Michelin Insta (twice!), running a yearlong Instagram campaign, people (strangers!!!) reaching out to tell me how inspired they are by me?!?!!?, and treating my mom to a two-week vacay. I’m *finally* feeling at ease with who I’m becoming and that feels so damn powerful.

Let’s talk business
Finding clients that align with your brand is key and so is knowing your worth, then adding tax. I didn’t learn this the easy way though. Last year, I landed my very first client. It was a big moment, and I learned a lot from this experience, mostly because I did everything wrong, and of course, it didn’t end up working out and we parted ways. I felt like a huge failure, there were signs that I clearly avoided because I wanted this partnership to work so bad. Eventually we called it off and it really shook my confidence. I learned that saying “yes” to new opportunities is great when I can commit 100%.  I struggled with wanting to do it all that I over-exhaust my resources, time, and creativity. In 2020, I’m going to focus on setting boundaries so I’m not extending myself in fifty million directions. It’s easy to say “yes” without thinking and end up hoarding all the tasks to yourself, it’s not healthy and I want to acknowledge that “hustling” doesn’t mean that you work so hard that you stop taking care of yourself.

Big bank or little bank
I’ve never had a good habit with money. It could be from the way I watched my parents grow up without any or the fact that I felt having lots of money would change me. Either way, it’s not the kind of relationship I intend to have. I want to know where my money is going, when it’s coming in, and most importantly having enough of it to take care of the ones I love. This year, I asked for my first promotion (and raise!) and got it. It’s amazing to take charge and know that your efforts will be rewarded. I’ve been listening to podcasts like I Will Teach You to be Rich by Ramit Sethi and Simon Says Love Your Legacy by Saul M. Simon, as a resource guide to diversify my money, and learn how to maximize it. I might be late to the game, but that shouldn’t stop me from trying. This year, I’m motivated as hell to get out of *all* my student loan debt. I can’t imagine going on another year with that hanging over my head. I made strides in eliminating my school loans and credit card dues, it’s not perfect, but it’s working and that’s all that matters. If you’re stuck like me, don’t have a sugar daddy, not clinging onto a family trust, I encourage you to reach out and get a financial advisor or pick up one of the books I mentioned. It’s helpful to have someone guide you through your predictable money-wasting habits and ways to be more conscious about them.

Fuck 10K
Wow, ugh. I hate that I have to talk about this because I know how much I complain about reaching 10k and well…not really being there. I feel two ways about this, and all the roads lead to torn. A few years ago, my only *dream* was to be an influencer, living a luxe life of chilling and paid ad promotions. Now, I feel so differently. I want my work to matter, like really matter. I want people to feel inspired, to tap into a world that they might not get an everyday lens to. This year I had strangers tell me: in-person, through friends of friends, online, on the phone, to tell me how inspired they are by my 11-month EMP campaign. It was so amazing to have my work recognized in this world, definitely a pinch myself moment. It was not picture perfect, no filters, no bs, it was rawness in it’s truest form. It made my own personal goal of 10K feel more and more superficial and stagnant. Reaching the 10k mark has always been the signal of how good you are, whether brands can take you seriously, and it’s fucked. Regardless, I want to take a moment to say THANK YOU to those who have been supportive of me when I had 30 followers (and never let me forget it!), and to those who comment/DM me after each post. In 2020, I just want to stop caring…about what others are doing, posting, eating, etc. I’m me and I’m okay with that.

Stress or Stretch?
My favorite hobby that I picked up last year is hot yoga, it’s been crucial in helping me stay sane when shit hits the fan. Between juggling a steady career, trying to meal prep every day, and work out, and have this insane social life, how does one find time to recenter and focus up? Trust me, I have not abandoned you to be a Dolores Park acro-yoga enthusiast...yet. I’m enjoying the challenge of doing things slower, in the best form, and opening myself up to learn at every opportunity.

If you’re still following along, thank you. These types of posts always make me emotional, no matter how many blog posts I’ve done in the past, writing out my feelings and putting them out there to share is always…intimidating. I just want to remember these moments five, ten, fifteen years from now when my problems might not feel so big.